Funny Email from Sunny about Benin's Uniqueness

Beninese Dress

Beninese clothing is interesting to put it mildly. The traditional clothing is made from "tissue" (meaning fabric) and is brightly colored (read: tacky-as in neon green mixed with construction cone orange and bright purple). These intensely colored patterns on "tissue" include, but are not limited to, simple geometric figures like giant triangles and octagons, religious symbols like the Virgin Marie, questionable images of bleeding tree stumps and severed hands, technology themed prints of telescopes and cell phones, and utterly random patterns like chickens giving birth to live chicks, grenades, Christmas lights, beating hearts, large prawn, and cuckoo clocks. Once in while one may come across a pattern that is actually pretty (like normal looking flowers, or some other more subtle pattern like stripes or polka dots) but more likely than not patterns and colors of tissue are downright bizarre and highly entertaining.

Once tissue is bought (by the meter) it is taken to the "culturier" (taylor) to be made into one of many traditional styles of clothing (but all styles have matching tops and bottoms-meaning Lots of the same tacky material completely covering your body). Most commonly women wear "Models" (pronounced moe-dells)-which are short or long sleeve type blouses, many times decorated with "pretty" puffy sleeves (a la 80's inspired fashion) or also "pretty" giant lace collars (like the kind our kindergarten teacher's wore in the early 90's). The second half of a "Model" is a separate long skirt that is either a wrap around or in the "fish tail" style (think, literally-mermaid tail shaped skirts-tight at the butt and dramatically flared out at the feet). If a woman really wants to get all decked out, she sports a "beautiful" fula-a hair wrap/hat type thing that kind of resembles a really shiny upside down lamp shade.

I have a couple of these "Models" (no upside down lamp shades though)-none of which I picked out myself- resulting in really "pretty" puffy sleeves (a la Minnie Mouse mode) and really "pretty" colored tissue (one is camouflage patterned except the colors are neon green, neon yellow, and brown)- they were gifts made for me specially, from my host family and from the local NGO I work for.

Traditional men's wear is made out of tissue too (the fabric for both the top and bottom are the same as well). It is called a "Bumba" (pronounced boom-ba) and is much easier to describe as it is pretty much just like a pajama set of long pj pants and a long sleeve matching tunic type shirt. I once saw a man wearing a Bumba made entirely out of bright yellow lace. He looked like Big Bird.

Traditional clothing, though considered very fashionable and "high class", can be very entertaining, whether it's coming across a woman proudly wearing a head to toe outfit made entirely out of fabric patterned in neon pink toaster ovens with wings sprouting out of their sides, or if it's the village king nobly blessing his citizens as he sports a baby chicken and bowtie pasta patterned attire. However, this is not the most entertaining Beninese dress at all.

Even more amusing are the Beninese mixtures of Western clothing (brought in from donations from NGO's or missionaries-there are no clothing stores you can just pop into to buy a "normal" cotton tee or pair of jeans-they are all second, or more likely third or fourth hand clothes that are sold on the streets only in the big cities). These Western clothes-judging from expired brands like "Umbro" and old logos of "Jordache" or "Guess", come undoubtedly from the 80's and 90's era-where Hammer pants ruled and shiny stretchy fabric looked pretty on anything from bodysuits to ruffly dresses, and people thought leopard print looked good on anything. Oh yes-the Beninese have style down to a tee. Nothing tops off your Western inspired Beninese outfit of an Argyle sweater, paired with tapered and pleated black jeans, and a tweed vest, more than the fashionable hats they Love to wear. Anything from front turned up hats with giant fake flowers glued on ("Blossom" style), to giant yarn knitted baby bonnets, to Easter hats for little girls, to Santa Claus hats, to Marijuana leaf patterned cowboy hats-are popular on men and women alike (though mostly worn by men as they are the ones driving the motorcycles and they must keep their hands from getting cold-as if that could happen in blazing-hot West Africa).

Traditional dress of matching tissue is the most common form of dress though-everyone has at least one Model or Bumba, and it is worn at work or for celebrations-for professional and nice attire. Western mélanges of outfits are more typically worn by the younger, "hipper" crowds in urban areas. In village however, dress tends to become less ornate and much scarcer. Women in village (and smaller towns like Pobé) are often topless-wearing just a wrap around piece of fabric and usually no shoes. Men in contrast usually are fully clothed-unless you're the village fu that is (local crazy guy) in which case you can run around stark naked screaming at people.

Beninese Food
Food, as many of you know, is a very coveted and critical aspect of my life. Despite my lack of culinary skill, I have a passion for savoring delicious delicacies and yummy cuisine that rivals my wanderlust for travel and adventure. However, as I was quick to find out during my first week in Benin, food here is Nothing like I hoped or expected it to be. Reading West African guidebooks and the one book I could find on Benin, I was promised some fascinating corn mill mixture (I was thinking more along the lines of tamales) with lots of enticing vegetable sauces and interesting new meats to acquaint myself with. I was anticipating a healthy diet full of tons of tropical fruit, fresh vegetables, and lots of protein (since I decided to put the vegetarianism on hold and partake in some adventurous meat eating). However, I came to find out that food here is neither healthy, nor varied.
Firstly let me begin with explaining the basics of food in Benin. For one-none of the food that I will mention is like any of the food with the same name in the States. Oranges for example are not orange-they are green, or sometimes yellow. That goes for bananas as well-they are usually green and the size of my finger (very small). Sweet potatoes in Benin, while sweet, are not orange or big either-they are small and white. Yams are also quite different-they are huge-the size of a large thigh (sorry for the weird visual-it's the only thing I can think of that's the size of yams here).The list goes on though-but suffice it to say that none of the food here is Anything like the food back at home. The "fascinating corn mill mixture" turns out to be pâte (pronounced-Pot)-and is the staple food of Benin. There is white pâte, black pâte, red pâte, pâte made from manioc, pâte made from yam, and pâte from corn. Pâte Rouge (red pâte) is actually really good (according to my taste buds). But regardless, pâte is eaten with everything at every meal (if you can stomach it). It is a pretty simple mixture of flour ground from either manioc, yam, or more commonly, corn. The consistency is…gooey. Though the flavor is pretty bland-as its just a simple white starch- its the consistency that is really the acquired taste. The sauce that accompanies it is palm oil (the other staple in Beninese food and diets) based and is also of a slimy consistency, usually made from completely boiled down okra, tomatoes, hot pepper, or other dark leafy vegetables which, after being cooked for several hours, is completely void of any nutritional value. A typical meal consists of this pâte and sauce-and if your lucky-a boiled or deep fried egg or fried piece of fish (bones included and meant to be eaten) that is sitting in a bowl of more oil. This gooey/slimy mixture of food gets really interesting when you realize that your expected to eat it with your fingers (of your right hand only-thankfully I'm not a lefty, otherwise I'd be permanently sauce stained everyday of my life here).
Although this is the typical Beninese meal, there are other foods. French baguettes, Beans (also swimming in palm oil), agouti (jungle rat-yumm, and yes I've tried it), chicken, goat, rice, noodles (which are included in anything from sandwiches, to eggs, to rice and beans), and Igame Pilet (pronounced yam pee-lay-which is kind of like a gooey version of mashed potatoes) also dominate the Beninese palate. And though there is accessible protein like agouti, goat, and chicken, you have to buy it live, kill it, pluck/skin it, gut it, and eat the whole thing in one sitting (since there is no refrigerator to save leftovers in) if you want meat, and since I rarely have the money or time to do all that-I usually opt for eggs (which have to be sterilized before you let it touch anything since it literally comes straight out of a chicken and into your hand-none of this cleaned and in a Styrofoam cart business).
Vegetables and cheese are a little tricky too. Vegetables other than tomatoes, onions, hot peppers, and okra (which are ubiquitous in the South)-are a rare and expensive commodity to find. But they all have to be completely disinfected as well since fertilizer here is often of both the animal and human kind (one of the volunteers from my Health training sectors got medically evacuated as a result of an Ecoli infection). This involves scrubbing them down with antibacterial soap and then soaking them in bleach water for 15 or so minutes (most volunteers have already resigned themselves to the fact that if we don't die in country from falling off our motos, catching rabies, or one of the many fatal bacterial infections here-that we'll all end up with intestinal cancer from the immense amount of bleach we'll have ingested by the time our two years is up). Cheese likewise has to be disinfected as it has tuberculosis in it- this is done simply by boiling it for 20 minutes-and, since cheese here is nothing like cheese in the states, its state of matter stays exactly the same and does not melt (it kind of looks like a white hamburger patty of cottage cheese).
Other popular eating trends are big giant pieces of fried dough, either in "elephant ear" form (just large oddly shaped pieces of fried dough), or in big round ball form. This fried dough is made just like a doughnuts minus the sugar but dripping in oil. They are eaten all day long-for breakfast with bouillie ( this breakfast broth that is really just a mixture of hot water, flour, sugar, sweetened condensed milk, and sometimes tapioca), for snacks in between meals, and with the palm oil sauces that accompany everything else. Peanuts are also really big here (as are cashews, but less so than peanuts). They come boiled, roasted, sugar coated, in peanut cluster like balls held together by caramel, or in peanut butter balls that are sweet, salty or spicy, in peanut sauce, and in peanut oil.
Equally popular, and also falling under the Beninese consumption title, is drinking. Even coming straight from my over 21 and legal college life of bar hopping and wine tasting-I've never seen so much alcohol consumed in one day. One can start their morning off with a shots of Sodabe (the local palm liquor-Beninese moonshine) and continue throughout the day on beer, wine, and other liquors without any of the alcoholic connotations that would accompany such behavior in the U.S.. In fact, it is expected! Upon entering the house of someone you are visiting, or starting a meeting, or (especially) celebrating anything from an anniversary or funeral, or just a Sunday dinner-one is expected to partake in at least one or two shots of the 100 proof Sodabe, before imbibing in the several large bottles of Beninese or Nigerian beer that is pushed on to you. If you're lucky, they will spare you the delightful mixture of wine and Coke. This makes for some really fun and unpredictable times. Take last week for example when I was invited to a Saturday lunch that turned into a 7 hour drinking marathon where my overly generous host demanded several a shot to be taken by me along with full glasses of 90 proof liquor, wine, and bottles of beer (not to worry- I'm mastering the art of pouring to the gods-a custom where one is supposed to pour a little of their drink on the ground as an offering to the ancestors-a straight out refusal to drink would be a big cultural offense so I just stick to this method of ancestral indulgence ). The night ended with me having to waltz to songs like "Silent Night", "Toxic" by Britney Spears, and "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira. Ohhh Benin.

Things You Can't Do in Benin
-wear things like miniskirts, or low cut tops (unless you want to put yourself out there for public solicitation- in which case its completely acceptable&normal)
-wear stilettos (unless you wanna break your neck and/or impale all the geckos and goats in your wake)
-walk through the streets being a foreigner and not expect to have "Yovo" yelled at you at least 10 times (meaning literally white person-which refers to anyone who isn't Beninese black)
-drink the water (mine is brown)
-tell people you're not religious (they won't believe you)
-talk about homosexuality (its illegal here and completely taboo)
-keep bottles (after softdrinks or beers are purchased at a buvette (a bar) the bottles must be returned)
-use your left hand (though people are generally more forgiving with foreigners)
-wash your intimate apparel in front of others or even worse-hang it up to dry outside
-talk directly about sex (how convenient-considering that's a specific job description of mine)
-give strangers your number (because they Will call you and text you weird things at weird hours of the night)
-throw your trash in a public trash pile (it must be burned. Children are Extremely curious about foreigners and you will indefinitely see some child rooting around in your trash bag and stuffing dirty things that are not meant to be touched in their pockets to play with later)
-run after it rains (you Will fall down. In the mud. Face first.)

Things You Can Do in Benin
-pick your nose in public (or if you do like some of the little boys and men look like they're doing here-stick your entire fist into your face and try to pick your brain)
-pee in public
-see goats..Everywhere
-see chickens with hair weaves
-eat with your hands (or hand, rather)
-kill your dinner (and see what your dinner had for dinner)
-walk around topless (though we aren't allowed to wear tube tops and camisoles??? Logical? No-but Benin nonetheless)
-walk around pantless (if and only if you're under the age of 7-or a male widely known as having one two many screws loose-but still, a uniquely acceptable activity in Benin for these sectors of society)
-eat exorbitant amounts of white carbs and oil without anyone mentioning the word "Atkins" or "heart-attack" to you
-go for days without eating an actual vegetable (vegetable sauce that is 90% palm oil and that has been cooked down for half a day doesn't count) and have a legitimate excuse for doing so
-find things that the FDA would never approve of-like tuberculosis or E-coli in your food
-find animals you never knew existed living inside of your food
-See goats smaller than cats and snails bigger than your Dad's fist
-spend hours doing things that in the States take all of 5 minutes or half an hour-like washing your clothes or preparing a meal ( this can literally take all day-between having to walk to all the different ladies houses or food stands to buy all your ingredients every time you want to cook something since you don't have a fridge to keep stuff nicely stored and at arms reach and since there is no grocery store afterall- and then picking all the bugs and rocks out of your food after buying it and finally desterilizing it all before trying to figure out a way to cook it without an oven or grill)
-cook food by headlamp or candlelight without feeling like a complete weirdo
-take showers outside under the stars